By: Abigail Handojo
Trigger warnings: Planned attempt to run away, vocal manipulation, implied meltdown, body malformations, ghosts, mentions of death, the afterlife, and unfinished business.
Promise Me You'll Live
Chapter 1: "Stay"
Amy’s POV
Am I too young to know who I can or cannot live without?
The duffel bag of belongings I’ve packed sits at the edge of my bed. I almost laugh at how pathetic it looks, sagging, full of space I can’t fill.
I’ve thought about it countless times before, but now that I’m standing at the window, it feels real. Too real. Will I be able to climb out without hurting myself? Where will go?
The world spins.
But there’s noone around to stop me. Noone worth staying for.
The latch clicks under my fingers and I inhale the evening air. I heave the duffel bag over my shoulders and turn away from my room. I don’t look back. Both of my hands find the window ledge, prepared to heave myself off and out into the night.
That’s when I hear it.
All my fault.
I freeze in place. What was that?
All my fault. All my fault.
It doesn’t sound like it’s coming from outside…
All my fault. All my fault. All my fault.
Actually, it sounds like it’s right behind-
"AhhHHhHH!" I scream, scurrying away from the window and holding a sleeve up to my mouth.
“Wh- what- who- how’d you get in?!”
There’s a trembling translucent outline of a person sobbing violently into its arms.
What in Wonderland is that?!
All my fault. All my fault. All my fault.
“Hey, hey-”
I may be utterly horrified, but I’m not a monster. It’s in distress, I need to take a risk.
“Hey, is it okay if I touch you?”
The figure stills, distracted by the question, before nodding slowly. I step forward and bring my hand up to their shoulder, only for it to pass right through.
It turns around to face me fully and I have to suppress a scream. Its eerie blue eyes are sunken in, cheekbones hollowed out. Their skin is pale and their ribcage protrudes disturbingly.
“You’re- you’re dead!”
It sobs harder, repeating the words like a mantra, “All my fault. All my fault. All my fault.”
I made it worse. I always do.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please calm down! I was just surprised, is all, please don’t cry.”
“Shhh. Shhh. It’ll be okay.”
It looks up at me a second time, eyes still glossy with tears. I feel my breath hitch. There’s an eerie beauty in her gaze. Strands of bleached hair reach her waist and the fringe of her tattered dress sweeps the floor. She’s no longer shaking, but her delicate frame still curls in on itself.
She looks like she’s made of glass. And I wish I could ask, who shattered you?
Instead, I find myself whispering, “Are you feeling better?”
“Y-yeah” She clears her throat and manages, “Thanks for that. I’m Lily.”
“Don’t mention it, I’m Amy.”
“I know.”
“Oh. Soooo, what are you doing in my room?”
“Well before this, it was my room. My family bought it when I was still a baby, but- but since… since you moved in, I guess it isn’t really mine anymore…”
“Well, how can I help? Is there anywhere else you can go? Isn’t… isn’t there an afterlife that exists somewhere?”
“I don’t know, I’ve just been stuck here. I think I need to cross over or something first? I’ve tried to leave, but I can’t pass through the door. It’s like I’m bound to my room.”
Silence fills the room.
“For a while I was alone. And then you moved in. I saw your father box up all my stuff and take them away. Your mother found my family photos and crumpled them in front of me. I begged them to stop, but it was like I wasn’t even there. I could only watch.”
“Then I was alone again. I guess I got too caught up in my mind, because I don’t remember what happened after. All I know is that I was seriously starting to lose it until you saw me.”
“...Why can you see me?”
“I… I have no idea but if only I can, that must mean I’m part of your unfinished business, right?”
“I think so. But until I can finish it or whatever, I’m stuck here.”
Lily looks down, tears returning.
“Hey- hey, look at me. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but we can make it work.”
She doesn’t look up and I desperately wish I could hug her. But I can’t.
So I say, it’s okay even though we both know it’s not. I have nothing to offer besides false promises and she’ll take them because it’s sweeter than her thoughts.
“Is there anything else I can do?”
“C-can you stay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll stay.”
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