By: Abigail Handojo
Promise Me You'll Live
Chapter 8: "Open Wounds"
Amy's POV
“...And where’d you find it?”
“Folded up on the dining table.”
“They didn’t even bother to tell you they had to leave for a last-minute business trip in person?”
Silence accompanies the question we both know the answer to.
“I’m so sorry Amy.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah, but… someone has to say sorry if they won’t.”
“It doesn’t have to be you.”
I press my palms against the bathroom’s tile countertop for support. Lily kneels in front of me, gently dabbing a cotton swab at the scrape to clean off the blood.
“No, no I should’ve warned you.”
“How would you’ve known?”
“Remember their Christmas present? How you thought they bought it for you? They didn’t. They’re mine. I saw your father sell my belongings as ‘used products' online. Everything got sold except…”
“Except those headbands. And he didn’t know how else to get rid of them, so he gave them to me. Their intention was to donate, not gift.”
“...But you were so happy that night, I didn’t know how else to tell you.”
“You didn’t have to. I should’ve guessed.”
I grit my teeth when Lily dabs at a particularly deep cut.
“They’ve always been like this. All that matters to them is money and tax benefits. They only had me for the dependent care credit.”
“If you knew, then why…?”
“I thought maybe this time was different.”
The conversation fades naturally, but I still feel like I owe her an explanation.
"Do you remember the day we met? I was about to climb out the window and run away. I wanted to be the one to leave first instead of the one always left behind.”
Lily doesn't respond for a moment, either busy patching up my scrape or deep in thought.
“I’m glad you stayed. I’ve tried the ‘leaving first’ thing, it doesn’t work.”
“What?”
“...We were at Disneyland. I got curious and wandered off, expecting my parents to follow me. They had to search the whole park for hours to find me. By the time they did, it had gotten dark, and when we drove home that night…”
My eyes widen and I briefly forget the pain. This is the first time she's opened up to me about the events leading up to her death. But I always thought it was an illness, not an accident!
“It’s all my fault.”
Lily stops applying pressure to my cuts and her arms fall to her sides. I wish I could place my hand on her cheek and lift her chin to look at me. But I can’t. So I slide off the counter and meet her eyes.
“It’s not your fault. You never meant for this to happen. You don’t need to apologize for things you didn’t do or problems you didn’t cause. You didn’t lose them, you just haven’t found them yet either... but..."
That look returns to her face. The same one she wore when she asked me to stay. Perhaps another promise will make her meet my eyes.
"That’ll change once we figure out your unfinished business.”
टिप्पणियां