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Red String of Fate - poetry collection

Strings

Temecula knows how much I love him

Home of wine, booze, hot air balloons

A bunch of stuff a kid can’t quite do

Temecula knows that too


But I’m leaving as soon as I can 

So I won’t be anchored to the ground,

Stuck to Old Town

And, heavens forbid, settled down


I’m afraid of finding someone worth staying for

And abandoning my dreams willingly

Bound by that bloody red string 


If I can’t cut it, I’ll crochet it

Into something I can wear 

When there’s no one to keep me warm


Or I’ll try my hand at embroidery

Stitch my initials into a handkerchief 

Though I’ve no one to lend it to 


I’ll coax a chord out of it 

A sibling of the stringed-instrument family

Since no one will sing me to sleep


Maybe I can use it to floss my teeth

Tie it into knots or braids or bows

Bead and pray the rosary on it

Bind a book I haven’t written yet


I’ll do anything but follow it to my fate


 

Hopeless Romantic

Permanence is a volatile thing

For someone who prefers constancy 

Over wedding vows and diamond rings

I never looked good in white anyways


Sometimes I believe in tooth fairies 

More than I believe in love

Both can slip out of windows overnight 

Both can take more than they give


It’s written in the stars, it’s in my insta bio

“Hopeless romantic”

More accurately, “Helpless skeptic”

Who puts the “Luna” in “lunatic” 


Listen


Two messy humans make a commitment

No cookie-cutters, just a complicated fit

Like broken chopsticks reunited 

How seamless is that well-awaited click?


Is it worth what the poets compare it to?

 

Tattoos

If love is a drug,

Is heartbreak a hangover?


Impulsive

Reckless

Regrettable

Irrevocable


Like a tattoo on my hip

I can’t seem to shake

On my shoulder like a chip

Earthquakes I can’t erase 


I have a habit of doodling on my hands with pen

It’s like my habit of writing about people as if I’m in love with them

Deliberately temporary from beginning to end

And easy to wash down the sink 


Watch the ink bleed from my skin

Thumb, index, middle, ring-

Can we still call it that if it’ll never wear one?

-Red string tethered to my pinky


I never fancied the “prose” in “propose”

I much prefer poetry

 

Piercings

Tip Toeing on pins and needles

I’ve only ever looked down 

Not savoring the flight,

Too busy anticipating the fall


It takes less time for me to fall in love

Than it does for me to realize it 

And when I do, it’s near impossible

To distinguish the feeling from dread


When I was younger, I wondered, 

“Who would get hurt voluntarily?

Let alone for the sake of beauty?”

At fifteen, I surrendered to curiosity


Found comfort in the weight

Forgot the sting

The precise pain


Now I’m sixteen going on seventeen 

And I’ve been conditioned to think

That I must hurt before I heal


Surely Cupid’s arrow is ineffective

Unless it’s fletching-deep into my chest

Breath fleeing fast from my lungs

Isn’t that how it’s supposed to feel like?

 

Scars Half-Healed

Sue me if I had a penny for each pickup line reserved for your ears only

“Is your name Selene? Because you mean the moon to me”


Tell me your stories

And I’ll tell you mine

Cradle your concerns

Tender traces down your spine


The ghosts of bruises

The bend of your back

The lines of your wrinkles

The curve of your cheekbones


Please pick up the phone, I don’t like waking up alone”

The past leaves an unshakable shadow


But I’ve come to understand the power names hold

As I see “Abigail Elina Handojo”

On the return address of love letters

Never the recipient 


More certainly chiseled on a grave

Than printed on marriage records

The historians won’t call us what we were

But the artists will


And I’ll say, “My dear, don’t you know your heart belongs in your chest, not on your sleeve?”

And you’ll say, “How else could it be within your reach?”

And I’ll think, undoubtedly,

The best thing I ever believed was that you loved me

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